RYAN FAN CLUB MERCH
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My Nine Hours As Super Dave
Hallowe'en is always one of my favorite times of the year. I think of it as an opportunity to look like a complete fool and actually get away with it for a change. In the past I have done some excellent costumes, ranging from Superman to The Count to Prince Adam and even myself. No really, I made a Ryan mask and wore it. So this year I was none other than Super Dave Osborne, the world's greatest daredevil stuntman.
No, I didn't have a Fuji Hakayito accompaniment. Thought I surely do wish that I fuckin' did. That would've been totally rad.
I originally planned to be Burt Reynolds for Hallowe'en and even grew a swell mustache about a month ago for the icing on the cake. My goal was to let that 'stache grow for about a month and get it all bushy-like just like the real Burt. But every time I caught my reflection in a mirror I couldn't help but wonder who the creepy dude was. So the mustache went, and my dreams of being Burt along with it.
At least this year I wasn't wrongfully mistaken for the wrong costume all day. Only one person thought I was Evel Kenevel, and a girl I know had no clue who Super Dave was. Shame on her. Some stoner in a Quiznos asked me if I was the dude from "Hot Rod" too. Still, it's much better than last year when I dressed as Prince Adam and everyone commented on how nice my Ellen Degeneres costume was.
And unlike my Prince Adam costume, I plan on keeping this jumpsuit for further use.
And when my wife tried it on for fun, she kinda looked sexy in it. Is that weird?
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