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RYAN FAN CLUB MERCH
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Dear Much More Retro...
Dear Much More Retro,

I most certainly enjoy your channel. I mean, after all, it actually shows music videos all day. And for the most part you show good music videos. I especially appreciate the times you've had back-to-back Bon Jovi videos. It's no secret that "back in the day" music videos were actually good. They were like little mini-movies with stories intertwined with the band playing their instruments. Then in 1996 hip hop videos introduced the "stank ass ho" and the entire medium changed. Too bad, so sad. So I really don't mind shelling out a couple of bucks each month for Much More Retro.

I watch your channel for two reasons mostly:
A) Re-live some great music that I loved growing up.
B) Get a good laugh at how the times have changed.

So imagine my surprize when I was having my morning coffee and bagel, and flipped to channel #179 for some retro videos, only to find some videos that weren't really old at all.

You hooked me with Color Me Badd, but then I had to do a double-take when I heard that famous pencil tapping at the beginning of Britney Spears', "Hit Me Baby One More Time." Don't get me wrong, I quite enjoyed seeing Miss Spears dressed as a schoolgirl, complete with pigtails and knee-high socks, but isn't that video from 1999 or 2000? How is THAT supposed to be retro?

The next video up was that Backstreet Boys ditty where they're all dressed up as horror movie characters. Not a bad video at all... sure, it
Britney Spears is NOT retro yet.
had some neat effects and was interesting to watch... but once again, that shit ain't retro.

Now I'm not the boss of the world, or the king of television, or even supreme chancellor to the boob tube, but I know retro when I don't see it. Coldplay's "Yellow" ain't retro, and neither is anything by Len, Serial Joe, the Moffats, or Limp Bizkit.

Really, you shouldn't be showing any videos post-'95 or '96. And while you're at it, tell your main channels (Much Music and Much More Music) to start showing more actual music videos. I'm sick of trying to avoid The OC like it has herpes, and I'd much rather watch that same old Poison video for the 100th time than sit through an episode of Brett Michaels trying to convince young women that he was once famous.

So c'mon, gimme some Cameo, Lionel Ritchie, and Tiffany, backed up with that horrible "All For Love" by Bryan Adams, Sting, and Rod Stewart (I'm positive their band name was A.S.S). And if it's not too much (or too much more) to ask, maybe you could also do away with all the damn Phil Collins videos. That guy just pisses me off.

Sincerely,
- Ryan
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