Ryan Fan Club - Ryan's Blog

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Photos by:
Dana Roper
Ryan Matthew
Johnny San

November 2, 2007
Holy crap, it's November already. It just seemed like yesterday that it was April... 1999.
Today's Blog is all about one thing: Hallowe'en. Yes Hallowe'en, that one day of the year where it is socially acceptable for me to parade around in women's clothing and take candy from strangers. This year, I dressed up as Prince Adam (from the He-Man & The Masters of the Universe cartoon). Mind you, I got lots of comments that ranged from "I love your Ellen Degeneres costume" to "Are you supposed to be Emo Philips?" Someone even thought I was Prince Valium from Spaceballs.

(I Have The Power!)
But no, I was Prince Adam, and it is a costume that comes with an important responsibility. I was, for one night anyway, the defender of the secrets of Castle Grayskull. And sometimes it's just fun to wear pink.

I started Hallowe'en at the bright n' early time of 6:00 am. Yes, I know there's nothing bright about six in the morning, but it's a cliché that I enjoy using. My Starbucks shift started at 7:45 and I was happy to not be the only person in costume. My boss and a couple other baristas had dressed up as well. There weren't many coffee drinkers that day in costume. For the most part, people wait until the evening to dress up. I was home in the early afternoon and decided if I was going to hit the town that night to check out costumes, I'd need to take a nap. That nap lasted a whole twenty minutes, thanks to Johnny San who called to find out what our plans were. He and his lady showed up at my place around seven, dressed as the Swedish Chef and Velma from Scooby-Doo. Dana had picked up a costume that she referred to as a "flapper" dress. I still to this moment have no idea what a flapper is, and I'm not about to Google it.

(Prince Adam versus Skeletor's minion?)

Johnny brought some friends of his, dressed a kitty and a... I dunno, I think he was a used car salesman... and our friend Molly came along for the spooky evening as well. We went to Scott's place, because he had claimed to be dressed as a retired Chippendale dancer. He had just shaved his head, and Dana thought he looked more like a giant penis. I have no comment. Scott's neighbors were dressed up as naughty maids, and so began the celebration of Skanksgiving.

Skanksgiving is the best part of Hallowe'en. If you've ever fantasized about a nurse, maid, schoolgirl, police officer, nun, or elephant, then Skanksgiving is a dream come true for you. There's dirty, dirty eye candy everywhere, and you don't always have to trick or treat to get it.

We didn't stay at Scott's place very long, because we wanted to check out as many costumes as possible. Outside of Philthy's we were stopped by these really creepy old ladies that were giving out candy. And who says Hallowe'en isn't scary anymore... anyway, we drifted around, spotting Elmo with Oscar The Grouch, and Magnum PI was even out and about. We had a chance meeting with Scooby Doo too. As well.

At the end of the night though, it was time to take off my sissy blonde wig and become Ryan Fan Club again. Dana was upset I shaved my goatee off for the night, but it'll grow back in four or five days. I went to bed, only to wake up at five in the morning to get sick. The weird thing is, I only had three beer that night. But that is a mystery to solve another day.

Until next Hallowe'en, stay safe.

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