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August 17, 2006
It's true. I'm an old man now. That doesn't mean for one second thought that I have to stop having fun. Age is all relative... numbers and things. Compared to past birthdays, this year's wasn't such an event. Like the last few years I was stuck working early in the morning on my birthday. I didn't sleep much the night before because my girlfriend was out watching strippers while I was at a wedding. Yeah, I know that sounds backwards to me too. C'est la vie. So I received my first birthday spanking from my supervisor and on-again-off-again mommy Silvana. I think she only gave me seven spanks, but I'll take them wherever I can.

After a long, painful day of work (seriously, if you're Muslim and eating the lunch that I'm serving why are you asking me for some pork?) I went home to find my girl and our two kittens. We just got a new kitten last week and she's adorable. You've probably already seen her pics here, but that doesn't mean you can't gaze at her cuteness some more. Seamus is a little jealous of her, but he's starting to get over it.

After my rightful romp of birthday lovin', I visited my parents for my birthday dinner. Then came the presents. It's no secret that I'm a huge Superman fan and my parents aren't shy about supporting that habit. My dad bought me a cool set of figures that was Jor-El and Kal-El from the new movie... however when I was in London I already picked it up, so there's the dilemma. Who would turn down a Marlon Brando action figure? My parents were smart enough to keep the receipt and we were off to Toys R Us to make an exchange. They were super-nice to me there. I exchanged my figures for a Kryptonite Crystal (pictured below) and a mini-statue of Superman with bullets bouncing off his chest. But enough for now about my obession with toys. There's more of that later. My birthday dinner was phenomenal. We had steak medallions and they were so tender, and cooked bloody rare which is how I like it. Practically the only way I'll eat it.

After dinner, I had some friends over to my place to play wrestling on the Playstation, watch Howie Mandel's live comedy video, and drink a bunch of booze. I'd say we were all a little tipsy by the end of the night. I had planned on going for a late-night wander to see who was out and about, but it never panned out. That Howie movie really fucked with my friends' minds. I'm the only one in the house who finds it funny, cause I love Howie's work. Truly, I do. I guess I'm the only one who understands.
Everyone went home because they had to work early (or the Howie movie terrorized them) so my birthday celebration was promised to be continued on the following Wednesday night. That night turned into a night of many celebrations. We celebrated my birthday, the welcoming of Ozma to the family, Jimmy's graduation from cooking college, and Scott's adventure with the Tampon Queen.

There was lots of beer to drink... and martinis... and rum... and... well, we had cartwheel competitions on the way downtown. Jimmy was trapped in a web, and then ended up in a flower bed. The important thing is that nobody was dropped on their heads. It was $1.25 burger night at the Brass, so you best believe I had one of those.

I woke up this morning at 8:30 when my mother phoned to see if I wanted to go out for breakfast and check out the new "Liquidation World" store that was having it's Grand Opening. Apparently they were having "50% off collectible action figures", or so it was advertised in the newspaper. At first I thought to myself, yeah right... it's probably just leftover Star Wars Episode 1 toys that nobody wants..

I changed my tune when I got in the store to find that they had DC Direct toys. Usually I have to be very picky about what I buy from DC Direct because, while the quality is incredibly good, they aren't cheap toys. I came home with a Metallo, a Robin, and Mr. Mxyzptlk. I'll probably go back for more later in the week.
So as it stands, tomorrow I'll be having a few beer then watching Snakes On A Plane. Expect a full review of it before you know it. Also expect me to write it while still kinda tipsy.