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December 30, 2008

What happened in '08 stays in '08.
As we look forward to all the Resolutions we won't be keeping, it is now time to take a look back at all the truly wicked stuff I did this past year. 2008 was awesome on several levels... many more levels than the first Super Mario Bros. game. In January I began recording the song Hi, My Name Is Ryan. You can download it for free here. It wasn't long after that I had my bachelor party. The wedding day was marked on the calendar for May 17th, and I decided to have my bachelor party a month prior. This would give me plenty of time to heal. My friends all owed me a lot of pain and suffering. Aside from just the mucho amounts of alcoholism, I was belt-whipped by a stripper who left train tracks across my back and butt.

My wedding day might go down as one of the greatest days in history. The only other days of such significance that come to mind are D-Day, Steven Tyler's birthday, and of course April 1st, 1990... when I went to Wrestlemania VI. My bride, Dana, looked incredible, and face-to-face I'd be happy to tell you just how beautiful she was and still is... but this is my website, so I'm gonna talk about how handsome and charming I looked in my tuxedo. I didn't look nearly this good when I went to Wrestlemania. But alas, I was only 9 years old then.

Much of the Spring and Summer of '08 was spent on the road hockey court. Nothing gets out-of-shape, older fellas like myself together than a chance to redeem our youth and play road hockey again. Not all of us are that over the hill though. Surprizingly, the MVP of the season clocked in at over 40. I had a few minor hockey fights, a couple fence tarantulas, just enough goals, and one slapshot to the nards to make it a good season. I'm definitely looking forward to next summer.

Every two years my mother's family has a reunion of sorts in this backwater town called Denbigh. I'm not offended that you've never heard of it. I'm also glad the guys from Deliverence haven't found it yet. I always make fun of the town for being so old fashioned (people still regularly go to church there), but it's always a nice place to visit. You can picture it in your head... a tree swing in the backyard... growing your own veggies... your neighbors are probably inbred... all in all it brings a nice warm feeling to your heart, n'est-ce pas?

Believe it or not, one of my absolute highlights of this year was seeing the Bon Jovi tribute band Slippery When Wet. They gave love a bad name and we raised our hands in appreciation. It was such a good time that my friends Laura, Rebecca, Johnny and I still rant about how they injected us with their bad medicine and it felt oh so good. Dana came along, but she swears she hates Bon Jovi. And that leads me to believe that I may in fact have not married a human being after all. I didn't think it was possible to hate Bon Jovi.

Dana, still not liking Bon Jovi, and I then went on our honeymoon to Vancouver. British Columbia is beautiful, and if you like seeing Asian people everywhere you go then it's definitely for you. I had a hard time getting used to seeing mountains out of our hotel window every morning, but in that good way. While we were there we took in some local cuisine, visited some of Dana's family, almost watched Spamalot, and skipped out on a Judas Priest concert. Not only does she "hate" Bon Jovi, but she doesn't care for Judas Priest either. Who have I married???
The trip was our first time on a commercial airplane and I vow to only fly from now on. It was so enjoyable. I'll never take a train anywhere ever again. We did some shopping and checked out all the different Starbucks around Vancouver. Believe me, there are LOTS of them.

Back in the heart of Ontario, I finished my Complete Adventures of Ryan comic. I'm quite proud of it. It's nice to have the whole thing finished. And it was a great lead-in to 24-Hour Comic Book Day. What a neat day that was. It was a test to see if I could draw a 24 page comic book in 24 hours. It was much harder than I thought it would be. I finished up in 14 hours and if you ever see the thing you'll notice how the quality dips about halfway through. A super-keen documentary was filmed of us and played at Queen's University. I'd like to put it up on this website eventually too.

2008 also marked the 10th Anniversary of the Ryan Fan Club. Yeah, it's crazy to think I've been doing this for ten fucking years. Thanks to everyone who has endured along with me. To celebrate, I made the website pink, gave away a whole bunch of free stuff, and drank lots of beer. Here's to another ten years of craziness.

To celebrate Christmas, me n' my Starbucks pard'ners went bowling. I think we had much more fun than any of us were anticipating. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I didn't win, but I came close. It came right down to the wire between myself, Rebecca, and Elizabeth. I'd gladly take them on again, and you could say this is an official challenge. Any time. Any where.

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