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November 14, 2008 Don't let these pictures fool you. My awesome long hair hasn't grown back. It's something I've finally and recently been able to say good-bye to. This month marks the tenth fuckin' anniversary of the Ryan Fan Club. Yeah, it's already been ten years. You know, I didn't start this thing to become a millionaire or anything like that. I never saw myself riding in limos to super wicked parties full of pornstars... not that I'd turn it down... but I never saw myself as the type who would walk into a restaurant and use an 8x10 glossy photo to pay for a meal. Today I share with you how it all began. For some it will be a trip down memory lane. For the rest of you, I hope it answers some of those questions you've always had burning in the back of your mind. And if you haven't had those questions burning in the back of your mind, then shame on you. I'm awesome enough that they should be. So if I didn't get myself into this crazy mess for money and fame then why did I do it? Well, I kinda thought having my own fan club would be a great way to meet chicks. And really, any drunk-out-of-her-mind girl that wouldn't fall for the line "Hey baby, I've got my own fan club" is really only fooling herself. So let's now take a look at how this whole fuckin' thing started... And try not to laugh too hard at the old photos along the way.   Right. It was the fall of '98. Spice Girls were the shit. Saturday Night Live hadn't been funny for nearly five years. And I wore red jeans about two days a week. I was in a high school group called Theater Complete. We studied acting all day and put on some neat-o shows all over Ontario about blindness and eating disorders. We were on our way to a show somewhere (possibly the one at Harrowsmith Public School where I mistakingly thought we were doing a show with Aerosmith and nearly lost my mind.... embarassing...) and we were talking about how we'd like to be famous someday. I told Derek Morely and Mike Banks that I felt no need to wait and that I would start my own Fan Club. We laughed a bit at the idea and the following day I brought some hand-written application forms to school and started signing up members. Yeah, that's the jist of it. But the really neat thing about it all was that I was only joking... well, maybe half-joking. I told everyone who signed up that I'd give them a membership card and a newsletter all about me. And I did. Everything was made by hand too. Those cards were a huge pain in my ass to make, but whatever, it's not like I was spending my time getting laid. That's what the fan club was going to be for. After reading the first Ryan Fan Club Newsletter, my ten or fifteen "fans" (which were just friends in my theater class) wanted more. And other people from school wanted to join. And then people from other schools wanted to join and wanted the newsletters. So I actually got stuck doing it. Give the people what they want! Then I started getting fans from neighboring cities. And that's probably the point where my ego started taking over and I was drowning in my own Ryan-ness. So did it get me laid? Yeah. And I got my frist really serious girlfriend because of the RFC. Would I recommend anyone else doing it? I mean, starting their own fan club? Sure, if you think you've got the time to commit to it. So the first Ten Years is finally here and I can honestly say that I actually don't know what to say. I don't want to say that it's been a crazy ride, because that sounds too much like an ending. So I'm just gonna close this article by saying that if you, the super swell reader, know what I mean when I say "Jesus Lord Ryan", then by golly you must've achieved "Super Jesus Lord Ryan" by this point. Here's to the next ten years... - Ryan |
