It was brought to my attention that I did this sort of list with movies albums before, but not TV Shows. So here it is. You shouldn't be surprized by what #1 is tho. It's not secret that I love Full House more than I love breathing. Some of the other shit on this list might surprize you, and some will probably make you go "What the...?" So, have fun!
#15 - Lamb Chop's Play Along
When I was sick as a kid I could count on three things: The Price is Right, All-day NHL highlights on TSN, and Lamb Chop's Play Along. This was the show that instituted The Song That Never Ends in all of our heads. After all, it goes on and on my friend. Whether you watched the show or not, you knew that fucking song. Sherri Lewis and her gang of puppets were pretty funny by children's TV standards, but being hopped up on penicilan (just as I was finding out I was allergic to the stuff) made the laughs even funnier! Lamb Chop, the main attraction, hung out with a dog named Hush Puppy and a horse named (go figure) Charlie Horse. They played games and made crafts and did all that G-Rated stuff that you know you still loved as a twelve year old but would never tell anyone at school for fear of getting beaten up. For keeping that awful song in our heads for so many years, this show still gets my thumbs up. (And you, the reader, get an extra thumbs up if you know the lyrics to the theme song. Remember, The Song That Never Ends was used ONLY in the ends credits)
#14 - Party Of Five
I'm almost embarassed to have this show on the list. Watching Party of Five might be the most feminine thing I've ever done... and I paint my toe-nails. Here's the thing, in 1997 I had a huge crush on Neve Campbell after seeing her in Scream. Then I found out she was on this little show called Party of Five so I checked it out. I was late getting into the show, so it took me several weeks of watching to realize that their parents had died in a car crash, the one dude had cancer, the other dude was a recovering alcholic, and everything else. But hey, Neve Campbell smiled a lot. And she was dating the dude from the Aerosmith "Amazing" video (take note, that video will come up again later). I couldn't for the life of me tell you what else this show was about, but I never missed an episode, and for some reason I always insisted on eating a bagel while watching it. Wow, that's a whole lot of fucked up.
#13 - Saved By The Bell
Do you remember where you were when Zach and Kelly broke up? Of course you do, it was one of the most prolific moments of the early 90s. Sure, after a couple years of college Zach and Kelly would tie the knot in Vegas, but it was their high school years that were most important. Seeing as how Kelly wasn't even around for the first couple seasons of the show (cause Miss Bliss was the only hottie in town then) it's hard to believe they ever went the distance. AC Slater got just as many "ooohs" from the girls as Mr. Zach Attack did, and poor ol' Screech never got the respect he deserved. It seemed like the stars of Bayside High were the only students at the school sometimes. From swim-team to wrestling team, to a radio show, and the hip-hop school play, and all the way down to stealing Belding's car for shop class... holy shit, real kids would never be able to do that much in four years of high school.
#12 - American Gladiators
With names like Nitro, Thunder, and Siren, what could possibly be wrong? Yes, it's American Gladiators... the show that lets regular people compete in athelic events with some obstacles. Those obstacles just so happen to be six feet tall and two-hundred pounds of solid muscle. And those are just the women on the show. American Gladiators was the perfect Sunday morning escape. It was on before football, and just after WWF Wrestling Challenge. And some of the events were really cool. Every kid wanted to do the Joust with each other. And the Eliminator looked super-fun too. The show's popularity was so big that they were even on an episode of Family Matters. Carl Winslow versus Nitro... everyone wins with that on TV! The closest thing me and my friends ever came to emulating The American Gladiators was playing "Chicken" on the monkey bars. The Gladiators did it on rings, and they were one hundred feet in the air. Our fall from the money bars was maybe six feet at tops.
#11 - Family Feud (with Richard Karn)
Where the hell is Richard Karn? When he hosted this a couple years ago, I was seriously addicted. In memory of Richard Karn's hosting duties of Family Feud, here is a haiku entitled "The Richard Karn Family Feud Haiku"
Richard Karn was the (5)
Host of the Family Feud (7)
But not anymore (5)
#10 - Married... With Children
There's a picture from my sister's wedding in 1992 of all the dudes in the wedding party doing the Al Bundy pose. As we all stood there with our hands halfway down our pants, we were practically saluting a true icon, and an inspiration to all men. For it's time, this show was the dirties, nastiest thing on TV. They talked about sex they way most people talk about it today. Kelly Bundy was a total floozy and we absolutely loved her for it. The Bundys were THE Sunday night show. Pop Quiz: How many touchdowns did Al Bundy score in one game? C'mon, you know the answer!
#9 - Boy Meets World
Here's a show that was pretty good when it originally aired on TGIF, but for some reason I really became attached to it during it's syndication run on the Family Channel. Don't ask me why, maybe it was the feeling I got inside knowing that I'd see Topanga on a daily basis. Or maybe it was knowing that I'd get to hear Mr. Feenie's wisdomatic (is that a word) echoes every day. Either way, the power of Boys Meets World can be summed up in one instance. For years I have asked Dana, my fiance, for breakfast in bed. She denied me for years and finally broke down, promising to make me it for my birthday. As I lay in bed, she turned on the TV and I heard Boy Meets World. I rushed out to see the show and since I was no longer in bed, could not have breakfast there. Well damn.
#8 - Much Music's Coca-Cola Countdown
Every Friday evening from Fall of '93 to Summer of '94 was spent eating Godfatha's pizza and watching the Coca-Cola Countdown on Much Music, hosted by all-time chick-magnet Steve Anthony. It was on this show that I got to see Meat Loaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love" compete with Tom Petty's "Mary Jane's Last Dance" and Aerosmith's "Amazing". Fuck, I even sat through Mariah Carey videos and that "Mr. Vain" song by Culture Beat? Remember that one? Calling Mr. Radar... calling Mr. Wrong... Calling Mr. Vain... Vain... Vain...
#7 - WWF Superstars of Wrestling
Saturday mornings meant one thing: it was time for The Ultimate Warrior and The Million Dollar Man to beat up on local hobos that were half their size. Seriously, I don't know why I was so addicted to wrestling in 1990. The only fight those goons ever won was through the paper bag to their bottle of liquor. But still, it was cool to see all the big-name wrestlers even if they were just pounding on nobodies. Except Dusty Rhodes. We should have never seen that many polka dots at once. Every once in a while we'd be treated to a good match like Demolition vs. The Brain Busters, or Jake The Snake vs. Ravishing Rick Rude. But usually it was 400 pound Earthquake just sitting on 175 pound Dave McAdamson. Yeah, I just made that name up, but oh well. The best part of "Superstars" was always The Brother Love segment. And the time Hulk Hogan got crushed by the Earthquake. And when Andre The Giant fought a bunch of midgets.
#6 - Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
After the sparkle of the Bundy's wore off, Sunday nights were soon replaced with my Superman obsession. From about 1987 to 1999 I was completely infatuated with The Man of Steel. I ate, slept, and breathed Superman comics, movies, and TV. I kid you not, I can quote Superman: The Movie line for line. So having a regular Superman show on Sunday nights was awesome for me. The fact that Lois Lane was a total babe was even better. And to top it all off, all the girls at school really liked the show too for its romance. So that gave me some reasons to talk to chicks. Mind you, none of it mattered when I started bringing up the Superman comics. Zap! Just like that I went back to being a geek. Oh well, if it weren't for that show we would've never had The Death of Superman comic in 1992. There I go, being a geek again.
#5 - Pee Wee's Playhouse
This is the closest thing to hard drugs I've ever done. I'm gonna shut up and let the video do the talking:
#4 - Batman: The Animated Series
Batman was one good friggin' reason to rush home after school. When the Batman movie came out in '89, the whole world went Bat-crazy. Not so much in 1992 when the sequel came out, but oh well, we still ended up with this cartoon later that year. It won dozens of awards, including Daytime Emmys, and is still considered by many as one of the greatest cartoons of all-time. It's very special to me because much of my own art style for The Adventures of Ryan is influenced by this Batman cartoon. I still remember when I learned that the voice of the Joker was Mark Hamill. It was in so much awe to know that Luke Skywalker and Batman had come together in such a bizarre way. Imagine if Batman had a lightsaber. Well, with all the shit in that belt of his, he probably has one already.
#3 - Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Before Drew Carey came along and ruined the show, I used to watch the British version of Whose Line Is It Anyway? latenights on YTV. I think they got it cheap, and that's why it was on so late. I won't lie; sometimes the show just wasn't funny at all. And sometimes their accents were so thick that it was hard to tell what they were even saying. But there were a few 'regulars' on the show that made it all worthwhile. John Sessions, Josie Lawrence, Paul Merton, Tony Slattery and Mike McShane all became regular names in my house long before Wayne Brady and Ryan Stiles ever did. There was just something a little more offbeat about the British show (mostly the fact that it was British comedy) that was never quite captured on Drew Carey's not-so-reasonable-hand-drawn-facsimile.
#2 - The Kids In The Hall
Friday nights weren't just about the Coca-Cola Countdown. No, late at night on the CBC I was allowed to stay up and watch The Kids In The Hall. I say "allowed" because I was only 13 years old watching these men dress up as women. Sure, no big deal you say... but let's not forget the episode where the Chicken Lady masturbates on a toy horse in a public shopping mall. I was exposed to Buddy Cole before I knew what it was gay people actually did. I saw a man grow boobs and show his co-worker. I learned about rock n' roll and Satan through Bruce McCulloch. And I learned that if a group of angry dykes break into a semen depository, they will steal Gordie Howe's spunk. So it pretty much goes without saying that it was this show that fucked me up for life. Oops, I just said it.
#1 - Full House
Okay, first off, do you know how much flack I took five years ago for loving Full House? Seriously. When I tell girls that it's my favorite show of all time they make remarks like "Oh, how cute!" I'm sure I've talked about this show enough on this website already, and it shouldn't be a surprize that it's number one on this list. So let's run down the list of Full House-isms. Yes, as a kid I had a huge crush on Stephanie Tanner. Yes, I admire and look up to Uncle Jesse. Yes, I met Dave Coulier a couple summers ago. Yes, I used to dream about being on the show. No, I have never tried to drive a car into a kitchen. Yes, before we settled on "Ozma" as the name of our cat I tried to get Dana to agree to name her "Tanner", "Katsapolis", and even "Mr. Woodchuck". Yes, I used to go out with a girl named Becky, and partly because so did Uncle Jesse. No, I have never said "Have Mercy" in the heat of passion. Yes, I do own an Olsen Twins movie (Our Lips Are Sealed). Yes, I have a photo of the Full House cast up on the wall. No, you may not borrow my DVD sets of the show. Yes, the Beach Boys song "Forever" is listed on my iPod as being by "Jesse & The Rippers". Yes, when season one came out on DVD I watched the entire show from start to finish while drinking wine to celebrate. No, I don't own the Uncle Jesse or Talking Michelle dolls but I really want them. Yes, I have the Full House bubble gum card set. No, Dana will not have our first dance at the wedding be to "Forever", believe me I asked. And lastly, yes, when Rick Springfield's song "Jessie's Girl" comes on the radio I ALWAYS sing-a-long with "I wish I had Uncle Jesse's girl" instead for the chorus.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this look into my favorite TV Shows. And thanks again to whoever brought this whole thing to my attention.
