RYAN FAN CLUB MERCH
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RYAN FAN CLUB MERCH|
Exclusively from CafePress.com | |
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Ryan's Guide To Collectible Ryan Stuff
I've been doing the crazy fan club thing for over ten years now. I've given away thousands of promotional buttons and monthly newsletters. I've sold my own weight in Ryan Fan Club 'Zines and CDs. Hell, I even chewed myself up some RFC Bubble Gum cards (they came with spearmint!)... so what happened to all that stuff? Where is it now?
Quite a few people lately have actually been asking whatever happened to all the old swag I used to hock to my fans. I'm going to assume that about 50% of the Newsletters and 'Zines were tossed away (or hopefully recycled) when people were done reading them. So that kinda makes all the old RFC stuff collectible. Maybe not as valuable as Spider-Man #1 or even the first Aerosmith record with the mis-spelled "Walkin' the Dig", but some of this RFC stuff has got to be about as valuable as dinner for two at Swiss Chalet. I contacted The Lord of Chaos, who used to write for the newsletter, to appraise the value of these artifacts for you too. So let's take a trip down memory lane (for me as well...) and see some swag from yesteryear.
Scourge comics
Scourge was a comic book series that I wrote, illustrated, and independantly published in high school. I did about 15 or 16 issues from 1996 until 1998, and this actually pre-dates anything associated with "Ryan Fan Club". I won't get into the stories or technical mumbo-jumbo, but it's safe to say that if I had never done these comics then I would never have been able to create any of the crazy Ryan Fan Club stuff later on. I eventually re-released the first three issues. The originals were all single-sided and stapled together in the upper left corner.
Estimated Value: Approx. $10 each or 2 Bacon Junior Whoppers
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Ryan Fan Club Newsletters
When I first started the Ryan Fan Club, each person who signed up would receive a monthly newsletter all about me. The newsletters had brief thoughts, doodles, a monthly recipe, Top 10 lists, and even an article written by my cat Toxika.
The Newsletter was published almost monthly from 1998 until 2001 and ran for 29 installments. They were very simple: an 8.5 x 14 sheet of paper crammed with as much Ryan as humanly possible. Sometimes they were even double-sided!
Estimated Value: Approx. $2 each or a high-five from Ryan's dad
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Ryan Fan Club Yearbook 1999
Talk about rare!
To the best of my knowledge, only 15 or 20 of these were ever printed. This nifty little book came our around June '99 and featured every single Ryan Fan Club Member, which at the time was about 75, all jammed into ten pages or so. There was never-before-seen pictures, and little Fan Bios, and a place to get everyone to sign the book too! Since they were printed to order, they're even rarer than the videocassette of 1987: The Ryan Fan Club Motion Picture, which we won't get into today.
Estimated Value: Approx. $400 or a vile of Ryan's frozen sperm
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Ryan Fan Club 'Zines
There came a time when the RFC Newsletter just wasn't enough to please my wondeful fans. So I revamped the whole shebang and turned it into an 8-page 'Zine. To have a complete collection of these is to have the supreme motherload. Every once in a while I'll crack these open and look back at some of the stupid shit I don't remember doing. I stopped publishing the 'Zine in early 2006 (after over 40 issues) to focus on making this website your favorite thing in the universe.
Estimated Value: Approx. $3 each or a jar of pickled eggs
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Ryan's AutoRYography
Every great pseudo-celebrity needs to write their autobiography. Cleary the story of my life is a must-read! It details my journey thru life, from playing with He-Man toys to the first time I got drunk at a strip club. In fact, this tale is so epic that it was re-worked three friggin' times. Yep, there are three different versions of my AutoRYography floating around out there. The 3rd edition (published in 2003) is the most in-depth. And it came with a pull-out poster for your wall.
Estimated Value: Approx. $10 or the good stuff inside a Vick's Inhaler
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"Bacon & Eggs" and "Nice Bum, Where Ya From?"
Sure, you've been grooving to songs of mine like "Hi, My Name Is Ryan", "Eat Shit N' Die", and "I Have A Penis", but did you know I had two other CDs from several years ago? Sure did! Bacon & Eggs featured the songs "Raining In June" and "I Don't Know Why". It even had a 45 second song of my mom rapping. Just imagine a 60 year old white woman cracking out such staples as "Don't make me pimp-slap your ghetto booty back to compton!" Yup, it really was that good. Most of the guitar on the record was played by Brian Crofton.
Nice Bum, Where Ya From? was a concept album. I wanted to have a lot of women's bums all through the liner notes. The guitar was handled mostly by Johnny San, and three of the songs from this record were re-recorded for the Impotence To The Max! album. The best song on the album, "Dr. Acula", is worth listening to over and over. Sadly, my mom didn't rap on this record.
Estimated Value: Approx. $10 each or a copy of Corey Hart's "Boy In The Box"
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Ryan Fan Club Bubblegum Cards
In August 2005 each Ryan Fan Club 'Zine contained three random RFC Bubblegum Cards (with a stick of spearmint gum!). You could collect and trade with other Ryan-Fans or just get a full set of 18 cards and 9 stickers for a few bucks. On the backs of the cards were puzzle pieces to make two awesome pictures.
Estimated Value: Approx. $5 per set or a complete collection of 1991 Pro Set Hockey Cards
So there's a gander into some stuff you probably never knew existed. Well now you know.
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If you're looking to get your hands on this rare stuff, I don't have any for sale. And if you have a pile of this stuff and want to get rid of it, I don't really want your collection either. I have all the originals and masters.
I mentioned the 1987 movie from '99 earlier too. It might get the DVD treatment in early 2010. I haven't really decided yet if anyone should ever actually see that thing again. But for now, I hope you've enjoyed this trip back in time.
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