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 Yup, it was 7:00 am, back at a time when seven in the morning still had some significance on a Saturday. These days the majority of us won't even admit that such a time even exists. Today's Saturday mornings aren't nearly as memorable as they were twenty years ago.    But come the weekend, HELLO PANCAKES! Around nine-thirty or so your parents finally trudge down the stairs. They deserved to sleep in. After all, they worked all week to pay for your toys. They probably could've slept in longer, but you insist on watching your cartoons so bloody loudly that they have no choice but to crawl out of bed. Finally, breakfast is served. Pancakes with bacon and chocolate milk adorn your plate. You pick up your fork and you pause. Perhaps a moment to reflect upon your week of public school. Grade Three ain't so bad, you think. You savor every bite of the syrup covered hotcakes. You let out an exhaust consisting of no less than six letter Ms. Life is good. And just as your last bite enters your taste bud region, you hear in the backround... ..."Thunder..." "Thunder!"... "THUNDERCATS!" Before you can get out a "Ho" of your own, you leap back to the couch.      NBC had Thundercats, Smurfs, and Punky Brewster. Since we were treated every week day to He-Man after school,t he Filmation show on Saturday was Bravestar. It was joined with Bionic Six. ABC was lacking in the cartoon department, showing Transformers very early, and Bugs Bunny at the end. The middle of their programming was obviously forgettable. CBS, believe it or not, was the king. Tuning in to CBS would get you Muppet Babies, Mighty Mouse, Superman, and the crown jewel in all of Saturday Morning Television: Pee Wee's Playhouse. Yes, that's right. PEE WEE'S FUCKING PLAYHOUSE - the single greatest creation in all of Saturday mornings. Talking chairs, robots with secret words, a genie that grants wishes... Mr. Herman was one lucky fellow. To this day I still scream along, and repeat the magic words, "Mecha-Lecha-Hi-Mecha-Hiney-Ho." If I were God, or just in charge of a TV Station, this would be my dream Saturday morning line-up:
  When the end credits rolled, Saturday morning morphed into something else completely. I'm talking about half-naked grown men beating on each other. Superstars of Wrestling showcased the top talent of the WWF, even though they were always pounding on poor helpless hobos in need of booze money. Still, you were almost always guaranteed to see Demolition, the tag team champions. When wrestling was over, so was Saturday morning. And that meant it was time to go play outside. You're right to a point. But every now and again I wake up early (and hungover!) just to check out the cartoons. If I'm lucky, Dana will make me breakfast. What I've found is that today's cartoons just don't capture the allure or magnetism of the 80s counterparts. Sure, the new versions of Turtles, He-Man, and Transformers are well-written... I'd even go so far as to say they are scribed better... but the cartoons get so wrapped up in their own stories and continuities that the magic of simplicity completely escapes them. Even Justice League, my favorite cartoon of the modern era, is too complex to simply sell toys. I do get a kick out of Sigma 6 though. But not enough for me to skip my hangover sleep. So there we have it. Saturdays just aren't what they used to be. But they can be! Thanks to the execs at studios that are releasing all those cartoons on DVD. I'm halfway thru watching the complete Pee Wee's Playhouse as I write this, and then it's on to Let's Go Ghostbusters. So I'll end with a vid of one of those Public Service Announcements that always climaxed the cartoons. Bye!
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