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My Letter To Dolph Lundgren
Dear Dolph Lundgren,

Things haven't been the same without you around. As much as I loved the new Rocky movie, it would've been great if you had a small cameo that wasn't just a clip from Rocky IV.
Then there's that new Punisher movie from a couple years ago. I never watched it, mostly because John Travolta is too good of a dancer to make a funny-book film. I've even heard rumors of a new He-Man movie that won't have you in the starring role.
What's next? A re-make of I Come In Peace?
Fuck that!

Your disappearance has left us with many questions, mostly about where you are these days, and if you're still using the money from Rocky IV to pay the bills.
I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that it would be great to have you back on the big screen as soon as possible, even if just to say "I must break you," on last time. Nobody impersonates a Russian quite like you did, old boy.

Good journey.
- Ryan Fan Club
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