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 Quite simply, this is the greatest movie ever made. Well, really that's entirely up to you to decide. I'm not about to force my opinion down your throat like some buttered up Pogo stick. What I will do is tell you how wonderful Snakes on a Plane is. At it's most raw... most pure form... Snakes On A Plane is a lot of fun. After all, it has snakes, and it has a plane, and when they're put together, it has snakes ON a plane. Brilliant. So read on, but be forewarned, you aren't just getting a review of a movie, oh no no. You're actually getting a recounting of the day that will henceforth be knowst to all as "SNAKES ON A PLANE DAY". Seriously, if this isn't a national holiday but this time next year, I'll eat a booger. 
   Scott and I met up for some beer at 12:30 pm. Snakes On A Plane was scheduled to show at 1:50 pm. That gave us plenty of time to get a good buzz on before the film. We had some Ricard's Pale and then trekked to the theater. When we got there all the doors were locked, save for one, and the lobby was filled with about 15 people. They were kind enough to invite us in, asking "Are you here for Snakes On A Plane?" And so here's what turned this day from an exciting day into a phenomenally exciting day. It seems as though the movie theater didn't realize they were showing the movie at 1:50. The sign outside said it wasn't playing until 4:25. And yet, there was a group of people waiting to see a 1:50 showing, having previously checked the showtime online. We wandered around the theater looking for someone who could help us and listen to our plight. Nobody was around. There wasn't a single person working there. We then realized that nobody locked the doors to the theater the night before. We contemplated making our own popcorn and self-teaching ourselves how to work the film projector, but that would've been crossing the line. Instead I took someone's cel-phone and called the head office in Toronto. They were a little shocked to know that there were twenty people in their theater without anyone working there. Shortly thereafter, an employee of the theater showed up for work. He was also shocked to see us in the lobby, hanging out and chatting... and complaining. After we explained to him about the time mix-up, he was more than happy to provide us with free passes for the 4:25 showing.    Back to theater! The first thing I had to do was pee. Badly. All that beer had built up inside and I had to do something about it before putting popcorn on top. I don't remember the previews, so they couldn't have been that important. And as for the movie itself, I can safely say I'll watch it again and again on DVD. A chick gets bit on the boob by a snake. That's awesome. When we all left the flick, there was some new people outside dressed as a plane with a giant snake to go on it. Genuinely cool. I don't know who those guys are, but that made my fucking day. Then I went home and my girlfriend took me to dinner at Swiss Chalet and she got annoyed by how many times I'd randomly say "Snakes on a Plane!". The waitresses that worked there are now very interested in seeing the movie after talking to me. I think my girlfriend is very interested in me shutting up about Snakes on a Plane. Oh yeah, Samuel L. Jackson says "Enough is enough! I've had it with these motha fuckin' snakes on this motha fuckin' plane!" I watch it over and over on DVD.
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