Det. John Kimble
RYAN FAN CLUB MERCH
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Top 11 Bad Asses
Who's the toughest motherfucker on the planet? Who would win in a fight between Chuck Norris and Mr. T? I don't know, but the real winners would be the viewers.
Today we take a look at eleven bad-asses that have helped make our world a little more cool. Enjoy.
11. Raphael
Listen closely to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song, and you'll find out that Mr. Raphael is "cool, but rude." The real leader of the Turtles had a temper that would flare up without haste.
10. Batman
It takes a real tough guy to dress up as a giant bat and go out in public. And that giant bat always looks bad-ass unless it's George Clooney. Just sayin'.
9. Action Jackson
This spot should really be all about Carl Weathers. Every character he plays, whether in Rocky, Predator, or Happy Gilmore has a streak of bad-ass in them. I like to think "Action Jackson" is more like "The Adventures of Apollo Creed Solving Crimes", but that doesn't make him any less bad-ass.
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Carl Weathers IS
Action Jackson
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Here comes the
Ax and Smash!
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8. Detective John Kimble
"It's not a tumor! I'm a cop you idiot!"
Arnold's early-90s cop here was such a bad dude that he made little kids march to a police whistle. Arnold made a great statement with Kindergarten Cop, and I think I would rather battle a dozen Predators than one group of five-year olds.
7. Zdeno Chara
The captain of the Boston Bruins is nearly seven-feet-tall before he puts his skates on. Don't fuck with him.
6. Chuck Norris
I don't need to tell you what makes him a bad-ass. There's already handfulls of books, calendars, mugs, t-shirts, and other swag you can get detailing it. But how many people wearing these shirts have ever actually seen "Sidekicks"?
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5. Demolition
This WWF tag team held the championship for an impressive three times. They had spikes, leather, and devilish facepaint.
4. John Rambo
Even at the age of 65, this unstoppable ex-Nam mercenary kicked some mean fucking ass.
3. John McClane
In the original Die Hard (before the action sequences got silly in "Live Free...") Bruce Willis saved the day barefoot. Now that's a tough bastard.
2. Ninja Assasin
Last year I wrote an article called Nobody Can Beat The Ninja Assassin, and I still stand by that remark. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a sequel.
1. Machete
It's true: High-Def was invented for Danny Trejo's face. If you put all eleven of these bad-asses in a fight, I believe the Ninja Assassin would be the last man standing. BUT, Machete would have the best kills, and would probably fuck all of the others' girlfriends during the battle too.
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He's a Mexi-CAN!
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Is there someone missing from this list? Don't think Demolition are very bad-ass? Write in and tell me your thoughts!
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