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 Ryan Is An Egotistical Douchebag 11. Being an egotistical douchebag takes time and hard work. I'm all about hard work. You know, working hard. Hard work equals results. 10. The name Phil Collins was already being used by some other douchebag 9. I read somewhere once that God's douchebag had a Ryan complex. I just ran with it. 8. Growing up as a "run-of-the-mill" douchebag in the Bronx, I knew that I was destined to be more than the other douche kids... I guess you could call that "ego", but I've always thought of it as "my calling". 7. An egotistical douchebag retails for about $3 more than the regular douchebag variety.
5. The "egotisical used prophylactic" job was already taken. 4. I don't need to justify being one, but felt writing this list was important to my own self-worth, and that I really owed it to myself as a human being and an individual. An individual who is awesome in every way. 3. Unlike other egotistical douchebags, I just so happen to come in a bag. 2. I went 12 years (1990 - 2002) without losing a single game of Monopoly. That practically makes me the most important man in the world. Or any world. 1. Being a regular douchebag wasn't self-fulfilling enough.
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