

![]()
|
![]() 11. Graceland It's a typical tourist spot, but you don't have to have it that way. While everyone else is commenting on the history of Elvis Presley, you can comment on how those moments in Elvis' life helped influence the life of Jesse Katsopolis, everyone's favorite Full House uncle. 10. McDonald's Playplace Balls! It's all about the balls. Fuck the Chicken McNuggets and Happy Meal toys. Ain't nothing quite as grand as jumping into a big pit of balls. 9. Sweden Big boobied blond babes. Try saying that five times fast. It's always been rumored that Sweden is full of incredibly attractive women that love to get it on. And if that's not your thing, then you can get some great chocolate. And if that's not your thing, you can get a nice new bank account. And if that's not your thing either, then you're probably there for the famous army knives. But I'll be going for the babes. Welcome To The Jungle, Mr. Miyagi from Okinawa, and The Arctic Fortress of Solitude 8. The Jungle You're always welcome, because as we all know, they have fun n' games. And if you don't know where you are, the locals will be happy to remind you that you're in the jungle, baby. It really is a nice vacation spot because they have everything you want. The Jungle: It'll bring you to your sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-knees. 7. Okinawa, Japan If you're interested in doing some learning while on vacation, why not check out Okinawa? You could learn the ancient Miyagi family style of karate and maybe get in a little fishing. It's what those Miyagi dudes love doing best. Just don't piss off any big business men, or you might have to fight for your life in an ancient castle. But at least you'd see an ancient castle. 6. Denbigh, Ontario It's not nearly as inbred there as some people might think. Really though, a trip to Denbigh is a very quick vacation. If you blink, you'll miss the town completely. And it's a cheap vacation too because there ain't much at all to do there. The Delorean, Exit 69, and Snake Mountain 5. Under The Sea If there's one thing that cartoons have taught me, it's that there are a whole bunch of singing and dancing fish that live underwater. You know, a ticket to a show of this caliber above ground could run you close to $200. And that would be real people dressed up as weird things singing and dancing for you. Fucking Cirque De Soleil... 4. Superman's Fortress of Solitude If you don't mind a little cool breeze, go up north to Superman's arctic Fortress of Solitude. You get to have crystalized conversations with Marlon Brando, and there's a chamber that can take away your super-powers. It's more fun than most amusement park rides. 3. Exit 69: Big Beaver Road About ten years ago I stumbled on Exit 69: Big Beaver Road while I was on a vacation with my family. We were on our way to Winnipeg and decided to do an under-hook way-about thru Michigan and Minnesota. So I never actually was able to experience Big Beaver Road... but I can imagine that it's a silly place full of one-liners, and tonge-in-cheek comments. 2. 1955 All you need is a Delorean and the necessary room to get it up to 88 miles per hour. Oh, and a Flux Capacitor. Maybe some plutonium too. Either way, you're gonna have so much fun in 1955. You can go to the school dance, and make someone crash their car into a poopie truck, and maybe, just maybe you'll get the chance to make out with your own mother. 1. Snake Mountain, Eternia If you aren't afraid of snakes, you might want to check out Skeletor's home. Snake Mountain offers lots of recreational activities (tennis with Beast Man, tar swamp swimming lessons with Mer Man, and the beauty spa with Stinkor, just to name a few) that will make you smile faster than you can say Mechaneck.
|