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Top 11 Things I'd Take To An Island if I'm Stranded
Often you'll hear that age-old question, "If you were stranded on an island and could only bring one thing, what would you take?" Well, if I'm gonna be alone with absolutely no human contact, I'm gonna need more than just one item. I'm going to need eleven. Mine goes to eleven. So here they are!
11 - My Harmonica
Whenever I get really bored I pull out a Blues Harp and go to town on it. It's great for calming me down when I'm angry from a stupid long day at Ban Righ Hall. I'm sure it wouldn't take long for me to blow a reid out and then I'd be stuck without a harmonica. The only thing that would be better than my Blues Harp is a beer or two, but I can't take that on an island cause once I drank them they would be all gone. Which brings me to...
10 - A Chicken
My first day on the island would be spent building a cage for my chicken. Basically I could eat the eggs and let some of them hatch into new chickens. On this island, the chicken came first. Eggs give me really bad farts, but whatever I'll be alone on the island and the chicken doesn't have feelings anyway. Before long, the chicks will grow into adults and I can eat them too.
09 - My iPod
My iPod supposedly has 14 hours of life without re-charging. Yeah right. Still, I can't live without music and so long as I ration my songs out to one-per-day, I should have music for 200 days or so.
08 - Traveller's Cheques
Apparently, according to some television commercials, these things are better than carrying cash. Suppose I lose my wallet on the island. There goes all my money. But with traveller's cheques if I lose them I can just... call them... but I won't have a phone... fuck.
07 - Pen and Paper
Much like the iPod above, a pad of paper will only do me so long so I must limit myself to a couple drawings each day. Hopefully I'll be rescued before I run out of paper. And hopefully I'll be rescued by Naughty Nurses.
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06 - Transformer toy
Since a Rubix Cube is too hard and a Pubix Cube is too rude, I'll bring a Transformer to the island. What could be more fun than transforming Soundwave from Robot to Stereo all day long? Plus, he'd give me some companionship and conversation. I'd even try to do his cool voice from the cartoon... "Soundwave is superior". Ha ha. Oh. You can't hear me. I'm typing. Right.
05 - Sudoku book
Sudokus are addictive. I used to do one every day because I got bored of the crossword puzzles. And if the puzzle gets too hard I can use it to start my fire for the night. |
 | 04 - My memories of Full House
On those cold nights on the island I can just close my eyes and think about the time Uncle Jesse slid down the banister on his way to a job interview, but Danny had just painted the banister, and Uncle Jesse was nicknamed "Skunk Pants". Or the time Stephanie drove the car into the kitchen. Or the time DJ starved herself to lose weight. I could go on for days.
03 - A Bazooka
Who knows what kind of wildlife will be on my island. Maybe there's some mutant animals and creatures there that we've never even heard of before. Maybe they breathe fire. Or maybe they shoot lazers out of their eyes. I'd better have some protection, and a little old hunting knife might not cut the mustard. |
02 - Swank Magazine
Well... uh... it's gonna get lonely there...
01 - A Monopoly "Get out of Jail Free" card
Let's suppose I am rescued from this island. Who might it be by? Tony Danza? A supermarket owner? A local tribe? I'll need a Get Out of Jail Free card, because it can be kept until needed or sold. I could also trade it for my freedom. Yup, everyone should carry a card like this wherever they go. Here's a card you can print off for yourself just in case.
Thanks for taking the time to read this bizarre list.
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