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Top 11 Songs I'm Embarassed to Admit I Love
You know it's true. We all have songs that we listen to when nobody else is around. Sure you may play The Ramones' "Road To Ruin" when all your best buds are over for a couple beers, but when they aren't there and you're just doing dishes by yourself you like to put on a little bit of Abba. It's okay, you can admit it. In fact, I'm going to let you all in on 11 Songs I'm embarassed to admit that I love. You don't have to like these tunes, but I totally recommend you giving them all a listen at some point. So on with the list!
#11 - David Hasselhoff's "Jump In My Car"
I was a big fan of The Hoff's "Looking For Freedom", so when I saw the video for this new song I was totally blown away. What could be better than The Hoff trying to pick up underage girls? Well, how about him wearing a shirt that says "Don't Hassle the Hoff". You might think this song is not enjoyable without the video. Well, I can attest that I've had it stuck in my head since I first heard it. The back and forth between Hoff and the ladies is so catchy you might wanna see a doctor after listening.
Check out the video for this song here.
#10 - Kenny Rogers' "Rueben James"
I first heard this song on my 25th birthday when I decided that if I was going to be an old man, I'd have to start listening to Kenny Rogers. So I went to the Salvation Army Thrift Store and bought his greatest hits on vinyl for 25 cents. Looking back on that purchase, I would've paid triple (even quadrouple) for that record. There's a lot of good shit on it, but the standout for me is Ruben James. I sing it to the cats all the time.
#9 - Macho Man's "Be A Man"
When I heard Macho Man was recording a rap album I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I really enjoyed Hulk Hogan's CD "Hulk Rules" from the late 90s, but something in me just knew that Randy Savage would have a higher production value. His rap album really sounds like a rap album. It's only hard to handle because you KNOW it's Macho Man on the mic. If we didn't know Mr. Oooooh Yeah already as the former WWF Champion, his album would've gone platinum. The song, Be A Man, is awesome because it's just Savage calling out Hogan for 3 minutes. Buy this album.
#8 - He-Man's "Action Music"
Quick! Listen to this song here! Download "Extended Theme Tune".
Listen close and I will tell you no lies. When I get out of the shower in the morning and start to get dressed, this is the song I put on. It's a huge boost to your day, and gives you a shot of energy that no cup of coffee could ever compare to. That's really all I have to say about this song, because the music pretty much speaks for itself.
#7 - Right Said Fred's "Don't Talk Just Kiss"
When I was about 12 years old Right Said Fred had a huge hit with the song "I'm Too Sexy". We all know it. We've all danced to it while drunk or naked. But few people remember their second single, "Don't Talk Just Kiss", and probably with good reason. It's not a very good song by most standards, but I give it 5 stars simply for the line "Let your tongue fool around". That's hot. Smokin'!
#6 - M2M's "Don't Say You Love Me"
M2M were cute and poppy and that's why everyone hated them. But somehow, someway, I love this song. I don't know why. I have no explanation. And you probably aren't reading this now because you're too busy listening to that He-Man mp3 from #8. Damn.
#5 Tatu's "All The Things She Said"
Two words: Lesbian Schoolgirls.
Three words: LESBIAN FUCKING SCHOOLGIRLS! When Tatu burst onto the scene with their first video they entertained us the way Snakes On A Plane did. They gave us exactly what we wanted. Schoolgirls making out in the rain. It doesn't matter that their Russian. They could be from Pluto and it would still be cool. In fact, being Russian makes them cooler because you know they probably hang out with Ivan Drago and destroy whatever they hit.
To see the video for All The Things She Said go here.
#4 - C+C= Music Factory's "Things That Make You Go Hmm"
Things that make you go hmm! I swear her voice pierces my ear drums. And I love every second of it. This group had that ultra-huge hit "Gonna Make You Sweat" which should've been called "Everybody Dance Now" but whatever. At least it wasn't called "Untitled". I can't listen to "Gonna Make You Sweat" anymore. It almost hurts to hear cause I heard it so much in the early 90s. But Things That Make You Go Hmmm was kind of a sleeper and still makes me get up and groove when it comes on. It's classic, cheesy dance-rap that will never die.
#3 - Justin Timberlake's "Sexyback"
If a song can make me burst out the lyrics at random it can't be all that bad. Who hasn't had this conversation with someone in the last week:
Friend: Hey Ryan. How's it going?
Ryan: I'm bringing sexy back!
Friend: Yeah!
There. Now you know that it's okay to bring sexy back. Honestly, I think the trend of bring back sexy was started by my friend Bob Blaschuk III.
#2 - MC Hammer's "Have You Seen Her"
I won't deny that this track has awful written all over it. But Hammer throws out props to Rob Base AND the Cosby Show in the same song. That fucking rules. MuchMore Music said this was the worst video in one of their "Back In..." segments, and I think that might be a tad unfair. I've told my girl that if we ever get married this should be our wedding song. She laughed it off at first, but as time slowly goes by she's starting to agree. God bless you, Hammer.
#1 - Hanson's "Mmmbop"
I could probably write a series of articles on Hanson songs I love. Here's a quick list of them: Mmmbop, Lost Without Each Other, Where's the Love, Lucille, Man From Millwaukee, Yearbook, I Will Come To You, Penny And Me, and Madeline. I'm sure there are more and I can't think of their titles. Basically, just how cool is Mmmbop? How do you go about making up a word, writing a song around it, and turning that song into a huge hit all over the world? It comes across as candy-pop-fluff, but most of us fail to see the true message within: In an Mmmbop you're gone... in an Mmmbop you're not there. So next time you're feeling low, and you just wanna get drunk and pick a fight with the closest homeless person you can find, listen to Mmmbop. Then go about your drinking and fighting. Mmmbop makes everything better.
Wanna watch Mmmbop now? Of course you do. It's here.
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