RYAN FAN CLUB MERCH
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Why I Love Ronald Reagan
Before The War on Terror... before Saxophones and Interns... before The Gulf War... there was Ronnie. Ronnie showed everyone that an actor - a fucking movie star - could become the leader of the most influential country in the world. It was the 80s, a far different time and place that is now mostly remembered for Nintendo and Thriller. I can't begin to tell you what Reagan did for the United States of America, and rather than do research to give you a boring history lesson I'll just tell you why I think Ronnie is a fucking star that shines bright in the cosmosphere. Whatever the hell Reaganomics was doesn't matter today. What matters is that we remember Ronald Fucking Reagan as the coolest President of all time.
   
Ronnie Was The Poster Boy For America
Everyone likes a monkey. Ronnie made that horrible movie, Bedtime For Bonzo, and the next most logical step in his career was obviously to become President. Ronnie appealed to what people like the most: cowboy hats. Damn, he looked like a country n' western superstar in a cowboy hat. He probably could've taken Kenny Rogers in an arm wrestling match too. I for one would've loved to have seen Ronnie go over the top. My earliest memory of Ronnie was in an issue of Cracked Magazine where they had created a fake food by the name of Rice-A-Ronnie. For years I didn't know it wasn't real, and I kept looking for it in the grocery stores with my mom. Fuck, if Paul Newman had a salad dressing then why-the-hell not.
Ronnie Was The Ultimate Ladies Man
 
Few men can match the physical prowess of Ronald Reagan. And only one woman, Nancy, could truly tame the beast that is Ronnie. Ronnie had a certain Je ne sais quoi in his eyes that drove women wild. He never had to resort to bizarre cigar stories with interns. Ronnie had but one woman. Oh, he could've had all the women he wanted. But Ronnie's true charm lies in the fact that he turned them all down for his best gal. Behind that business suit of his was a physique much like that of a He-Man action figure. Some would go so far as to suggest that God broke the mold after Ronnie was made.
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