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Why I Love Twisted Sister
Twisted Sister is one of the greatest metal bands of all time. Aside from their great party-rock music, they have an image that could kill a flock of nuns. Dee Snider and his band of misfits are enough to turn your mom's wet dreams into nightmares. They ruled MTV in the 80s, and then disappeared for the 90s. A recent reunion only proved that Twisted Sister and Sick Mother Fuckers will always rock in our black souls.
Today we'll be examining four key reasons why I love Twisted Sister. And I'm sure you'll agree with these reasons too. If you don't already love Twisted Fucking Sister, then you will. If you're one of those "buys a greatest hits album" people, then I recommend picking up Big Hits And Nasty Cuts to get you started. Their ten minute live cover of It's Only Rock N' Roll is worth the $12.99 on it's own.
 
Why I Love Twisted Sister, Reason #1: They Beat Up On That Army Dad
Well, what do YOU wanna do with your life? I wanna rock! That was the message that echoed thru the ears of many pubescent boys in 1984. I'm referring of course to the famous video for Twisted Sisters' We're Not Gonna Take It. In the video, a militant father tells his own son that listening to heavy metal music and playing an electric twanger means you're a loser. The dad, possibly an abusive alcoholic, tears into his son to the point where he implies that his son is from another planet. The boy, obviously not able to defend himself against the Sergeant, is saved by Twisted Sister. And they administer an arse-kickin'.
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That particular video is still heralded today as one of the greatest music videos ever made. You can tell you've done something right when Michael Jackson feels the need to rip it off. Mind you, if you listen to We're Not Gonna Take It closely, you'll notice that it bears a striking resemblance to O Come All Ye Faithful. Twisted Sister recently did a video for that classic as well.
Why I Love Twisted Sister, Reason #2: Dee Snider is Santa Claus
Speaking of O Come All Ye Faithful, did you know that it's really Dee Snider who brings us presents every December 25th? To the left you'll see photographic proof. It's unknown if Dee actually killed Santa Claus to get the job, or if Santa passed the torch down, but either way you get the point. There isn't nearly enough rock n' roll at Christmas time, and I think that's why Dee took over the reigns as the jolly man. And Santa is a bit of a pacifist too. If any of those little elves in North Pole got out of line, you know that Dee Snider would just eat them with a side of baked potato. After making an example of one elf, no other elf would ever dare fuck with Mr. Snider. If Dee Snider ever gets bored of being Santa Claus, he's more than welcome to take over the job of the Easter Bunny. Or even the Tooth Fairy! Imagine: You're six years old and you woke up in the middle of the night and there's Dee Snider reaching under your pillow. In his other hand he's holding a big pair of pliars... and he's looking at you with that killer grin.
Why I Love Twisted Sister, Reason #3: Twisted Sister Will Live On Forever
As long as I'm alive, the music will be played. And I'm not the only one who feels that way. Twisted Sister has an army of Sick Motha Fuckas that are prepared to do the bidding of the band. I for one will scream "I LIKE IT!". I for one will throw my | fist in the air. I will jump! I will leap in the fucking air for Twisted Fucking Sister. And as it has been written, if someone laughs at me for it, I will kick them in the fucking face. (Go listen to their live cover of It's Only Rock N' Roll. This will make so much more sense.)
Why I Love Twisted Sister, Reason #4:Twisted Sister Could Beat Up The Beatles
It's no secret that I don't like the Beatles. If we assumed for a second that all members of The Beatles were still alive and healthy, I'd like to see a Survivor Series tag-team match between them. It would go something like this. Ringo would look at a picture of the band Poison and think it's Twisted Sister. Then he'd tell the rest of the Fab Four that Twisted Sister are a bunch of pussies with make-up on. So the Beatles would show up to the battle thinking it's in the bag, but then Twisted Sister would rip them all limb from limb, eating their flesh and bones. That would be awesome to see.
My Favorite Twisted Sister Songs:
Shoot 'Em Down
I Wanna Rock
Be Cruel To Your Scuel
You Can't Stop Rock N' Roll
We're Not Gonna Take It
So I'll end this article off with Twisted Sister's most famous video. Remember, you should buy at least their greatest hits album as a start. And stop listening to Coldplay. Twisted Sister could pick up Coldplay and throw them into the sun.
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