How Do I Love Thee
Written by Lisa Jayne Gordon
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee for thy choice in foot apparel
Though I think the pink ones are no longer sterile
For your lively laughs and smiling face
I love thee, with emotion transcending time and space.
For when my hunger drives me quite irate,
I know my craving you will surely sate
While your "Pregnant Chicks Are Hot" articles set my heart ablaze.
I love thee so that I've been pushed to use
coke, heroin, glue and crystal meth.
My love for thee has driven me to booze
and eat tubs of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, --- I love thee with my breath,
especially on mornings when i haven't brushed my teeth! --- and, if the Flying Spaghetti Monster choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

This poem is hosted at www.ryanfanclub.com with the permission of the artist as a means of showcasing Ryan-Fans' talent and it remains the property of the artist.