If I Were One Of The Cosby Kids Written by Ryan Matthew If I were one of the Cosby kids Maybe I'd have better manners I'd have grown up with beliefs Different than those of the Tanners If Cliff were my dad I'd probably be into old jazz songs And if Claire were my mom I'd be afraid to do any wrongs After all, she was a lawyer If I were one of the Cosby kids Then Theo would get replaced 'Cause there's only one son on the show The balance can't be displaced We'd all dine on Jell-O pudding With dad's giant squash n' coleslaw Rudy, Denise, Vanessa would be there With Sandra and my brother-in-law You know, my friend Steve kinda looks like Alvin If I were one of the Cosby kids I'd most likely say the darndest things Then dad would turn into a ghost And say non-words like "Kapazadabings" If Cosby were my daddy He'd say I was a brain damaged son I'd try to learn things from Picture Pages Until the day was done Oh, and I guess I'd have to be African-American © 2011 Ryan Fan Club