01. Ridin' Shotgun
02. Yer Mom
03. Mayonniase Is Stupid
04. Hairy Mary
05. Fart In Your Mouth, Baby
06. Accent Eh-Goo
07. Do A Fat Chick
08. I Love Boobies (And You Should Too)
09. Go Drink A Glass Of Sand
10. Meaning
11. Alternate Oz Theme
12. The Woman Is Cold
13. Put Those Kids To Work
| Ridin' Shotgun |
I got a jaguar
I gotta compensate
She got the blonde 'do
With a touch of rotate
And so I drive her
Wherever she wants
It doesn't phase me
Cause I'm so damn gaunt
Chorus:
She's ridin' shotgun in the backseat baby
Every now and then she gets a little more crazy
All done then it's back to the show
She may be a ditz but she's so in the know
I got a best friend
Who does "H" every day
His stick shift's broken
And he's gone to stay
It's only leather
The fakest of all
In stormy weather
Yeah, she wished she was tall
Chorus
I got a rubber
She got the rain in her face
She's loosely fitted
And so out of place
She wears my glasses
Tinted windows at night
She does everything that disobeys right
Chorus
Break it down - get the bare essentials
Break it down - you're driving me mental
Up and down now in the field of dreams
Going down - Can you hear me scream
The air stood drippin'
But the night was grey
We'd done it all by now
Right down to F.D.A.
A quick oil change before I let her steer
Was I in neutral?
Or did I park in the rear
Chorus
I'm calling shotgun
On the red one baby
Moving so speedy and ever-so-ready
All done and I'm so out of breath
I promised her some more but I got nothing left
| Yer Mom |
Yer mom says I look good when I come by to take you out
She's folding dirty laundry
Yours or hers - sort it out
She gave birth to you so that means she puts out
Who's your daddy? Is he mad?
What's that all about?
Oh I'm doing you but I'm thinking of yer mom
You're pretty good looking but I tell you she's the bomb
She drives your brother to soccer every Tuesday night
And while he's scoring goals
I score with yer mom
Allright
Maxed my credit card just to buy her a new flower
Wetter is better
Yeah, she likes the golden shower
You might think the apple don't fall far from the tree
But apple-bottom jeans never looked so good to me
Oh I'm doing you but I'm thinking of yer mom
Cause she orgasms twice as hard
Like an atomic bomb
Got her prime in her forties, yeah I'm thankful for that
Cause while a kitten is nice
You get so much more from a cat
Your daddy hates my face
He says he's gonna punch it out
I got his two favorite girls in the whole wide world
Watch him scream n' shout
Was a momma's boy
Now yo momma's toy
I know you're prolly wonderin' what that's all about
Oh I'm doing you but I'm thinking of yer mom
Don't get erect
Just stay nice n' calm
Are you open to learning things from yer mum?
Cause we could have us a wild n' crazy threesome
Yeah, yer mom
Yer mom
Yer mom
Loves the cock
| Mayonnaise Is Stupid |
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise is stupid
Mayonnaise is stupid
White death
Mayo
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise is stupid
Fat-free
Mayonnaise is stupid
Don't put it in potato salad
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
Go to hell
Mayonnaise
Go to, go to, go to hell
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
May-yunn-aise
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
A one-hump camel makes a one-hump poop
Poop
Poop, poop
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise is stupid
Mayonnaise is stupid
Mayonnaise is stupid
White death
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
May-yunn-aise
May-yunn-aise
Don't put it in potato salad
Mayonnaise is stupid
Stupid
Stupid
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid
Mayonnaise is stupid
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise is stupid
| Hairy Mary |
Here's a limerick about a girl named Mary who has scraggly hair on the top and bottom:
There once was a girl named Mary
Who's bush was incredibly hairy
She trimmed it up nice
But then found some lice
And all the boys said "Ew, that's scary"
| Fart In Your Mouth, Baby |
You look so good tonight
Good enough to eat with a side of fries
Just get a couple beer in me
Enough so that I'm seeing three of you
You look so good tonight
At least I think - I don't know
Just lie to my eyes
I'm past the point of being able to see
So tell you what I'm gonna do
Chorus:
I'm gonna fart in your mouth, baby
Fill up the room with my poopie-perfume
Droppin' a bomb of love, baby
Give you sweet lovin' inside my dutch oven
Uh-huh
Can you feel the heat?
Like a smorgasborg of Kimmy Gibbler's feet
I'm a Mexi-Can, not a Mexi-Can't
Did you catch a taste so bitter-sweet
Like bakers chocolate or a cat's dry tongue
Do it so hard it sweeps down your lung
Down your lung
Chorus
Yeah, in your pretty mouth
Don't mind that hair
Just put it outta your teeth
It feels so good, feels so good
To have you underneath
And while you're there could you do a favor for me?
Could you check to see if I have a cavity?
And you're joining in
I caught a whiff
Blow me away with your sexy little quiff
Chorus
You just farted in my face, baby
The dirtiest kind it wasn't from behind
Your smile drives me crazy, you're so compliant
Yeah you're silent and violent
Chorus
Gonna fart, fart, fart in your mouth
Can you feel it?
Is it burning your eyes?
Can you feel it?
Gonna fart I'n your mouth, baby
A hundred times better than schtuppin' a goat
Gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna fart in your mouth baby
I'm gonna fart in your mouth, baby
With my poopie-perfume
Join me next time like ABC
Farting is easy like 1-2-3
Fart in your mouth, like this
I gotta go now, I gotta go baby
I got another girl who wants my fart in her mouth
And fart in her mouth, baby
So sorry if you're offended
Run my fingers all down your face
Leave a little bit there ain't gonna be no trace
Touch your soft skin all thru the night
If that's what you do I'm glad it's tight
I'm gonna fart in your mouth
You love it when I fart in your mouth
| Accent Eh-Goo |
L'avion dans le bibliotheque
Oui Oui, Oui oui
Mon frere avec une bonhomme de neige
Oui oui, un-huh
Le pomplemousse est tres rapide
Uh-huh, oui oui
Je suis un grande bicyclette
Oui oui, non non
J'habite avec une gros chien rouge
Il y a un biftec ici aussi
Lundi n'est pas vendredi
Les enfants mangent tous le monde
Combien des numeros de telephones
Quand tu achetes une petite ouiseaux
L'autobus est tres malade
Ma maison aime le stylo bleu
Les souillers restent sur les mains
Oui oui, oui oui
Les filles chantent dans le salle de bains
Oui oui, uh-huh
Rose c'est ma couleur favorite
Uh-huh, oui oui
Faire l'amour avec Celine Dion
Oui oui, non non!
Le fin!
| Do A Fat Chick |
I've got a friend who always
Gets the girl with the tongue ring and he
Meets a different one every night
Every night's a different fling
He tells me I am the wingman
Dangerous
Like the Iceman said to Tom Cruise
I guess I'm forever the wingman
Cause it seems that
I always lose
My friend gets the girl to play pool
And bump uglies on the dance floor
They grind to that stupid Usher song
I'm left behind with her friend I can't ignore
This is the job of the wingman
It's up to me to keep fatty occupied
This is the life of the wingman
All the breasts I get are Kentucky Fried
And so I say
Sometimes you gotta do a fat chick
So your friend can get with that girl at the bar
Yeah man you gotta take one for the team
And treat tubby just like a star
You got to tell her she's pretty
When you know you're lying betwee your teeth
Don't worry no one will see you
When she's got you underneath her
I put my drunk goggles on
And I call us a cab
It doesn't turn me on
The way she picks at her scab
I hope my buddy knows
What a good friend I am
I don't even eat ham
She takes me to her apartment
I pretend she's Marilyn Monroe
She sits on my face like a tyrant
Now I can't hear the stereo
Such is the life of the wingman
Next week I will do the drunk chick
Next week he'll be the wingman
And the hottie will play with my...
| I Love Boobies (And You Should Too) |
Chorus:
I love boobies
I love boobies
I love boobies
And you should too
In the early morning
I think about them
I love them like I love the Golden Girls
When I see the sunshine
I wish there was two
Two golden boobs highlight the sky
Fryin' up my breakfast
Eggs over easy
Dynamic duo, two at a pop
I like the chesticles
I like the breasticles
And I like the tuna melt flaps
But this ain't one
For the love-hole baby
This is an ode to your dirty pillows
Cause
Chorus
I saw a fat man
He had a nice rack
I threw some water on his shirt to make them wet
It wasn't funny
Man-boobs are nasty
So I asked him for my dollar back
I bought insurance
On a pair of boobies
It only cost $9.95
Chorus
Boobies rhymes with newbies
And Scooby-Dooby doobies
But they don't rhyme with mint chocolate chip
I asked my mother
"Where do boobies come from?"
She said go ask your father son
So I said daddy,
Tell me 'bout the hooters
He told me I should go and look it up
Oh I love boobies
I love boobies
I also love
My red shoes too
I love my red shoes
I love my red shoes
And if you don't like 'em
That's fine with me too
I saw a nice pair
In a catalogue
By the way I'm talking 'bout boobies again
They were in a corset
I think they were an A-cup
But small boobs are still operational
I like the fake ones
Though I prob'ly shouldn't
But a boob is a boob and that's what I say
Chorus
| Go Drink A Glass Of Sand |
Go drink a glass of sand
There was a young man in a band
I told to go drink a glass of sand
His name was Leigh
It affected his pee
And it made his love life kinda bland
Skeetzah!
| Meaning |
Every day
She looks back
Different mind now
Don't look back
Thought she'd found love
I think she lost
Low on trust now
Paid the cost
The last time I tried it was last year
Didn't know, I did no better
Did my best until I couldn't disappear
Didn't know, I hope you read my letter
This life is more than just a meaning
These days are not about survival
Your eyes are what gives me feeling
In the coldest breaths of revival
Moving on
Forget the past
Life goes on
First and last
The last time I tried it was last year
Didn't know, I did no better
Did my best until I couldn't disappear
Didn't know, I hope you read my letter
This life is more than just a feeling
These days are not about survival
Your eyes are what gives me meaning
In the coldest breaths of revival
The last time I tried it was last year
Didn't know, I did no better
Did my best until I couldn't disappear
Didn't know, I hope you read my letter
This life is more than just a meaning
These days are not about survival
Your eyes are what gives me feeling
In the colder breaths of revival
Your life is what gives me meaning
In the coldest breaths of revival
| Alternate Oz Theme |
So you killed a man and stole a car
You just woke up and don't know where you are
Life plus twenty's got you feeling alone
Cause Bubba says there ain't no place like home
You're spending twenty years at OZ
Tossin' salad for a pack of smokes today
You're spending twenty years at OZ
You took it in the bum but that don't mean you're gay
You're spending twenty years at OZ
The only white guy, yeah, first year rookie
You're spending twenty years at OZ
You're the cream filling in the Oreo cookie
You're spending twenty years at OZ
You're spending twenty years at OZ
OZ is filmed before a live studio audience
| The Woman Is Cold |
There is a nice girl in the shed
Who gives all the boys good head
She's quick in the sack and never talks back
And her smile is so cold
Cause she's dead
| Put Those Kids To Work |
Put those kids to work
Cause daddy needs a new pair of shoes
Put Those kids to work
They'll get the job done without any clues
Every day, every day is a dime a dozen
Grab your brother, grab your sister, and even your cousin
Assembling babies ain’t working for free
They don’t make much, but they make lots for me
Tell your friends, “what you say?” you can bitch and moan
But do you do anything other than groan?
You sittin’ pretty in your in the U.S. of A.
You’re probably wearing clothes that my kids made today
Put those kids to work
Yeah, daddy’s gotta look good at his meeting
Put those kids to work
Your money’s helping me give them a beating
Put those kids to work
So mommy looks good at a lower price
Put those kids to work
Look in the mirror now, don’t you look nice?
To the mall, export it all with a crack of the whip
Then a smile, look so vile, load it all on the ship
The end of the day is right back at the start
Everything, everything straight from the heart
Put those kids to work
Buy up those electronic devices
Put those kids to work
Best watch out for falling prices
I got a brand new pair of faded jeans
Faded souls coming out at every seam
But I look so good for the money I spend
I should pay these kids to make my amends
So distraught, never caught, do my crime with style
One stop sweat shop, did me time – denial
Every day, every day is a dime a dozen
Grab your brother, grab your sister, and even your cousin
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Cause daddy needs a new pair of shoes
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
And they never ever ever sing the blues
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Cause daddy's gotta watch the evening news
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Cause daddy's gotta drink his favorite booze
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Cause daddy's gotta take mommy on a cruise
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Cause daddy's passed out and he's gotta snooze
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Hulla hulla hulla hulla hullabaloos
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
You know that the cows, they always "moos"
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
My buddy Mr. T he pity's the foos
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Cause you know one plus one always makes the twos
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
All of my kids will get another bruise
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Ninja Turtles II, Secret of the Ooze
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Secret of the Ooze
You kids gotta get back to work now... sing time is over...
I said put down the microphone boys and girls... singing time is over...
you have wallets to make and you have shoes to sew...
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na
Put those kids to work - Na na na na na na na na na na na