Don't Put Your Dick In The Window Fan Written by Ryan Matthew Don't put your dick in the window fan Never put your nards under a moving van Hey buddy, man, I think we can agree An electric gloryhole just ain't the place to be If you stick it in a wall Or a pane of broken glass You'll discover mauve connect-the-dots On the greasy crease of ass Like chlamydia from Lydia Or gonorrhea from Miss Rhea The doctor says, "It's your own fault" And he's never gonna see ya Don't put your dick in the window fan Your schlong don't belong in a frying pan Hey buddy, dude, I think you can attest That a tissue substitutes for a double-dee chest If you use a grocery bag Then there's no real chance for danger Or sit a bit on right or lefty And pretend that it's a stranger Like a red badge on a pink vadge Or a silver silly willy The nurse, she looks and smiles and laughs While you just claim it's chilly Don't put your dick in the window fan You can't put your cock in a rusty tin can Hey buddy, guy, you surely best believe It won't feel a thing like her wide-end receive If you can't shake your spear With the likes of Horatio You shouldn't spend your lonely nights Watching point-of-view felatio Like a casting couch slouch Or a video voyeur toyer The other patients get in first Whil you wait on hold for a lawyer © 2011 Ryan Fan Club