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 Josh Shallenberger 1. Okay Josh, Tell us a bit about yourself: I am currently a duel citizen in both Canada and the United states and was very excited to witness both elections take place within the past few months. But I am not here to talk to you about Obama or Harper, although they are great guys. I am here to talk to you about someone far greater, someone who makes them both pale in comparison: Ryan. 2. Why did you join the Ryan Fan Club? It's very touching to see so many people come together with one great thing in common...A love for Ryan and an undying loyalty to the Ryan movement. Upon talking to so many people in Kingston you will find that Ryan has won the hearts of countless thousands. Some people say Obama is has earned the most attention worldwide these past few months, I beg to differ. Obama you say, Obama who? Ryan is clearly loved and cherished by more people than Obama ever could be. At a whim Ryan could have the current President and Prime Minister impeached and take on both titles at once. And he's not even American! I propose that Ryan run for President of the world and we do away with petty leaders of individual countries. Ryan has a clear cut plan to end world hunger, bring peace, and single handedly fight global warming. Yes, Ryan, if elected President of the world will defeat global warming himself in a cage match to the death. If this were to come to pass he would need a candidate to run for vice-president of the world. I personally suggest Chuck Norris but ultimately it's up to Ryan. Ryan would change the world for the better, all he would ask in return is the loyal worship of the humble citizens of the United Earth. A small price to pay for saving humanity from destroying itself. Ryan is the true, firstborn son of Zeus and the rightful heir to mount Olympus, and that is why I joined his fan club. 3. Why do you love Ryan with all your heart? I love Ryan with all my heart because he is the only one capible of bringing humanity past its final chapter of chaos into a new era. An era of peace, harmony and love for our fellow man. An era where blacks don't get pulled over for driving a nice car. A time in which all racial barriers are broken and everyone has the opportunity to achieve their dreams in a world united under Ryan's excellence. A world in which Arabs love and embrace the Jews instead of trying to blow them up in Israeli coffee shops. Where protestant will unite with catholics in Ireland instead of burning each others churches down. A world in which Cherry Cola will be resurrected from the ashes and Jonas Brothers music will be banned and added to the blacklist. Thats my heart's cry and thats why I love Ryan, because he stands for all these things. 4. Why should other people like you join? See, being a Ryan fan isn't something to take lightly. Being a member of his fan club is ultimately a privilege and to not join would be to betray your own conscience. Thats what all it comes down to, so listen to your heart...join today if you have a soul. 5. If you could spend a whole day with Ryan what would you do? I would try to get inside of his head. I would try to figure out how he ticks and how this man is so amazing. Ryan is the perfect role model and one could only be honored enough to model his life off of his upstanding example of what a human should be. If I could spend one day with Ryan I would help him with his campaign for president of the united world. Not that he needs anyone's help with that but it would be an amazing experience.
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