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 Rachel Makin Damn, I knew I should have gotten a life before I tried to fill this out. I’m Rachel, a Kingstonian and a Queen’s student (in nursing so I get to touch people in inappropriate places). I work at as a receptionist at a nunnery just waiting for the day they realize I’m not actually Catholic. I’m terribly disappointed that with 6 years on the job I still haven’t seen a single exorcism. I have really weird hobbies, probably because since no one else knows what they are I'm automatically the best at them. I like tequila. And watching cartoons in my pj’s. I don’t have any tattoos and this makes me sad. I (used to) have red hair. I really like reading and I have 7 legal names (all formerly belonging to dead people). 2. Why did you join the Ryan Fan Club? I was sitting in a bar and this guy secretly dropped a penny in my drink and I drank it and suddenly I was drafted into the Kings Own Army also known as The Ryan Fan Club… But completely nonsensical stories aside, I knew Ryan a bit from Ban Righ Hall, and he was one cool guy. And one day on a whim I googled “Ryan + cool guy + porn + 80s + cartoons + She-Ra + kraft dinner + Mrs. Brisby” just to see what would come up and low and behold was brought to the pinkest and most awesome of pages, The Ryan Fan Club. I’ve been a button carrying member ever since. Even in the shower. 3. Why do you love Ryan with all your heart? Because Ryan is a man of principles, a man of impeccable morals, and a man of firmly held and well defended opinions. Which include the items best inserted into your anus, the indisputable etiquette for the provision of punchbuggies, and which redhead is the hottest (unfortunately he made a small miscalculation and I should have in fact been #1...but that’s ok). Ryan is the fount of all actually-interesting-knowledge and answers the questions I didn't even know I had, but that I really wanted the answer for once I realized what the question should be. If I didn’t have Ryan as my guide I’d be really and truly lost. And terribly, terribly ashamed of all the porn I read. 4. Why should other people like you join? No! No one else should join, whether they’re like me or not! Don’t you see people, the more fans Ryan has the less Ryan will be available on a per capita basis. And do you want to live in a world suffering from Ryan-scarcity? Exactly. I didn't think so. 5. If you could spend a whole day with Ryan what would you do? That much concentrated Ryan-ness would result in such a surge of uncontrollable joy that my nervous system would completely shut down leaving me functionally brain dead. If I wasn’t reduced to a drooling vegetable we would watch cartoons and The Secret of NIMH while making collages of all our favorite redheads. Then we'd get drunk at the winning location of Pub War 2007 (and maybe sample their awesome fish and chips). I’d make him tell stories with funny sound effects. And try to con him out of more buttons, my goal is a Ryan-button for every shirt I own.
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